my mom just yelled “it’s called common sense” at my dog
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
It seems like cats never forgot the fact that they were worshipped as gods thousands of years ago
"can men and women really be just friends??" straight people are so weird
It is a fact that bisexuals can’t make friends. There is only prey.
*makes raptor noises*
The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.
"did you look for me, sam?" "yes dean, i fucking looked for you, i tore myself and the world apart looking for you but the writers are goddamn idiots so i have to say no”
What it would be like if you replaced one word of a band name with booty
All Time Booty
Bring Me The Booty
Booty! At The Disco
Sleeping With Bootys
Pierce The Booty
Black Veil Bootys
Fall Out Booty
Falling In Booty
My Chemical Booty
Of Booty & Men
5 Seconds Of Booty
A Booty To Remember
Crown The Booty
and also for the sake of it
BOOTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
I have this weird theory that some people are drawn to each other because their atoms were near each other when the universe was created and over time the same atoms keep coming back together
DID YOU JUST SCIENTIFICALLY EXPLAIN SOUL MATES?!
It’s too early to be thinking about this shit